Varifocals has done nothing. No writing hour each day, no ideas in nice notebooks, no revision of stories, no looking over the quarter of novel. I read this morning of an author (now subject of a new book exposing all sorts of interesting things for those who live vicariously through biographies) who always had at least six different reasons for doing anything and every one of them was right. I have some reasons for not writing. Friends and family are all ill. All serious stuff - no details here, I'm not going to write a misery / illness blog but other people's concerns somehow stop me writing. They're a drain on creativity. I have a demanding profession, it produces end of working day mushy brain syndrome. I have a lot to do that doesn't concern writing. I feel guilty about writing for myself. So back to the blog to get going again.

On the other hand I am very lucky. I have my own study - all mine, shared only with the cats, who don't interrupt much (I wish they'd teach partner not to). I work part time. Theory has it there are two whole days each week in which to write. Ha! I have the support of a marvelous writing group and friends who encourage.

I used to be very disciplined. I used to have deadlines and I obeyed them religiously. Now there are no deadlines apart from those I set myself and allow myself to break. They're really procrastination lines, semi permeable. I'm reminded of the late Douglas Adams who said something like, 'I love deadlines. I love hearing the whoosh! as they go by.' My homemade limits make wonderful noises at me. More like raspberries however. And a tinny voice that says, 'you're no good.' It squeaks at me and needs to have a cushion put over it. And the lines - whatever they're called - need to be made rigid, unyielding, absolutely fixed in my head. And I need some sort of alter ego so it's a different part of myself that writes.

So I'm posting this without revision, agonising or worrying about anyone reading it. It's to get me to write. (But any tips, hints, comments welcome. Oh what a hypocrite, I'm not supposed to care!)

That's it. I've fed the cats, thank you.